It's a dog going through a divorce

This is another tattoo in my favorite category ever: friends convincing other friends to get ridiculous nonsensical tattoos. Hilarious and awesome. And awful.

This was the first tattoo for this poor/rad soul. Description from the friend whose idea and drawing it was is below.





"i dont really remember what led up to the idea of swift getting a 20 second drawing i did of 'a dog going through a divorce' as a tattoo, but it was certainly assisted by it being 3am and a fair amount of alcohol on his part.. he woke up that next day and said "you know what? fuck it. lets do it." so less than an hour later i was paying someone $60 to permanently put it on swifts arm. dudes got sad depressed moppy divorced hair, hes unshaven and mopey, and hes got a little suitcase and dufflebag. he just needs to crash on your couch for a week or two. you know what happens when you call a tattoo shop and tell them you "want to get a cartoon dog getting a divorce", they dont believe youre serious. like 3 places didnt believe us."

Now THIS is what a zombie should look like!

I got a spur-of-the-moment zombie tattoo last week from Alex at Three Kings in Brooklyn. If you've seen my millions of bad zombie tattoo posts, you know that a good, gory zombie is hard to come by. And I got one!!!!

Because it was a TOTAL impulse tattoo (I just dropped by the shop to hang out and watch my friend Myles tattoo my friend Josh for a couple minutes and ended up getting tattooed myself!) I didn't know where the image was from. It was just something AWESOME that Alex had drawn up (he had a bunch of drawings for their Friday the 13th Zombie day that were too involved for the $40 zombie deal they had going). Turns out it is from this obscure comic that not one, but TWO of my friends knew about!

In other new tattoo news, I also got my other crow filled in. They're by Myles, also at Three Kings.

I'm so stoked on them! They look great.

I'll post some legitimately bad tattoos soon, I promise. I just wanted to share these awesome ones because I am so excited about them.

scary-guy-1.jpg

I think the title says it all, really. This is a truly scary guy.

Straightedge Toast

This guy maybe has my favorite bad tattoos of all time. Ever. Period.
Possibly because I have a real soft spot for straight edge tattoos and punk/hc tattoos, possibly because they are just hilarious.

Description from the horse's mouth below:

All my friends have toast tattoos, because when you're poor and dumpster for your food bread is always readily available - it's this thing that kinda unifies us at this point in our lives. The Earth Crisis theme came about when some silly hardline XVX kids were staying at this punk house and talking about how belittling a band with serious issues is a bad thing, and how EC was cool and really helped push ideas into hardcore, and then they started insulting the people who lived at that house by degrading them and saying they had bad views, even making someone get near the verge of crying because she ate sparingly fish.

I realized that the lyrics for the beginning of Firestorm worked really well with toast (the original lyrics for those who don't know are "Street by street/block by block/taking it all back", referring to cleansing a neighborhood of drug dealers.) I went and got the tattoo done in an hour, showed them, and started drinking and eating cheese for the rest of the night (even though I was vegan at the time.) They stopped talking to me, and left shortly after.

I'm going to be getting a tattoo really soon that is based off of the anarchist atheist saying "No Gods, No Masters", but its gonna say "Dogs, No Masters" and have a kennel on fire and someone holding a leash with his brains blown out, and upside down crosses made of milk bones. I didn't think up that saying, though

More amazing back pieces

What happened to this angel's feet? Don't they look just like stumps? Also why is one angel stomping the other one's head? I think I see some horns on the bottom angel there, so maybe it's Lucifer being shown what's up.
Let me show you a wonderful trio of ridiculous back tattoos:

Now I know that this photo was taken mid-scabby-stage so I won't be *too* harsh about the quality of the tattooing here, because it's really hard to tell. HOWEVER, it's impossible to tell what's going on! I do see some flaming dice, and a '3', but what are the weird globby things on each shoulder? They look like rotting lettuce.

Okay, now this one just confuses me. I am under the assumption that it's not finished. The triangle thing on the left is one of the worst tattoos I've seen, but seems like a pretty explainable bad tattoo to get. The Japanese guy on the right is not actually that bad, and obviously isn't done yet. What REALLY baffles me though, is what is on the bottom. It looks like a scratched on sunbathing girl at the beach! IT CAN'T BE SO! sdlkfjslfjs! Amazing.